One Thing Leads to Another

I’ve been working on my dependencies lately, most critically the nature of co-dependency and the nature of finding emotionally unavailable people attractive. One thing that has become apparent as I go down this healing journey, is that I am using other substances as an additional source of dependency. I’m talking about addiction.

I’m talking about substance abuse, I’m talking about drugs. I’m talking about how facing down one inner demon inevitably leads to another one lurking in the wings. Once I start trying to live a better life, it snowballs. In the long run, this is great. In the short term, I feel like my life is falling apart.

It’s scary to be making such sudden and drastic changes in my daily routines and interactions. I feel like friends will fall away, and I find myself overcompensating sometimes out of fear that they will leave if I don’t remain the same way, if I start setting new boundaries for myself. I am trying to accept that it is entirely likely that when I change, my social groups may change in some ways too. I am trying to accept that this is neither good nor bad nor a judgement at all, but rather a natural byproduct of living my own life. People are allowed to come and go as they please, and I am trying to be myself and see who comes and who goes.

By justpearlythings

I am a writer, a lover, and a believer in the good things in life. I write about mental health and wellness, along with book reviews and fashion opinions. My blog caters to thoughtful, growth-minded women and men, and offers insights and personal challenges that provide a space for relevant, meaningful connection. The World Wide Web is vast, it contains multitudes, and so do we as people. I believe that through self-awareness and honesty, we create a more loving planet for everyone. Feel free to follow this page and share it with friends and family. Love, Pearl

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