Four Things I Hate Most About Sobriety

  1. I have to do things.
  2. I have to do things.
  3. I have to do things.
  4. I have to do things.

Sobriety is just an endless stream, punctuated by sleep, of doing things.

I mean, what the heck. Who signed up for this? I guess every human did, or any living thing, really. We’re just all out here, doing things, sober or not. But my sober brain is actually very aware of the doing of things, whereas inebriated me was checked the f*ck out.

When I started this journey six months ago, I knew I would have to learn some new living habits. I knew I would have to shift from unhealthy coping mechanisms, to healthy ones. I knew I would have to live each day, without self-medicating with mind-altering substances.

But dang, I didn’t know it would change every freaking thing in my entire world. I didn’t know I would have to become this new person. Do I even like this new person?

The answer is yes. Unfortunately, I do like the woman I’m becoming, which is so irritating because it means I must keep going.

I know: I sound like the self-centered, spoiled, mis-matched personality-having person that I am.

Yes, I am aware, through belief and experience, that life is a precious gift, and waking up this morning was a WIN. I totally get that, and this rant has nothing to do with my lust for life and everything to do with the jaw-dropping, crushing responsibility of sobriety when one is accustomed to well.. not sobriety.

I made a cauliflower bake today. It turned out well. I also unloaded the dishwasher and to my dismay, had to load it again with more dirty dishes not one minute later. Such is life.

Now I’m listening to Spotify’s attempt to play “Send Me on My Way,” which is the one song that always makes me feel good. Spotify is not allowing me to hear my song until I hear five or six related songs, like “If You’ll Be My Bodyguard” and “Bang on My Drum All Day.” Cool, I guess these songs are all pretty positive. Cool, cool.

*Sips tea.*

Luckily there are a bajillion and a half things to do with my sober self, ranging from chores to exploring the planet. They’re all good, in the end. Who knows, maybe I’ll even make something that people like, or fulfill my purpose in life by helping an old lady cross the street so she can proceed to whisper the secret of life into a baby’s ear.

Whatever. I’m not in the mood for it tonight.

Off to finish reading a trashy paperback romance (Captain Jack’s Woman, if anyone’s interested.)

Hugs,

Pearl

By justpearlythings

I am a writer, a lover, and a believer in the good things in life. I write about mental health and wellness, along with book reviews and fashion opinions. My blog caters to thoughtful, growth-minded women and men, and offers insights and personal challenges that provide a space for relevant, meaningful connection. The World Wide Web is vast, it contains multitudes, and so do we as people. I believe that through self-awareness and honesty, we create a more loving planet for everyone. Feel free to follow this page and share it with friends and family. Love, Pearl

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