Identity Crisis

I’m having trouble, which is usually a sign of something better to come. I’m having trouble because of the differences between where I have been and where I have yet to go. The trouble is, I’m no longer satisfied with where I am now.

Here is an uncomfortable place. But I don’t like going backwards. Yet going forwards is unfamiliar. Unfortunately I know that unfamiliar is where the magic appears.

So I know where I want to go next, and I know what I have to do. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but that’s God’s part of the plan.

Daily I am building a tapestry with my life. What type of tapestry do I want to build? What does a beautiful tapestry look like to me?

I see shades of love, many many shades of love. I see risk and fear, and trouble that becomes strength. I see service to others via charity work, investing in good causes, and being kind to strangers. I see travels with friends. I see lovers. I see health and wealth. I see myself, much as I am today, but improved after making all those “good” choices I have yet to make. I am happier because I am sharing more love.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And right now I have to throw all my effort into having a good force of will. Because a weak-willed mind won’t get me any further. Yes, my mind is stronger than it was six months ago, but it will be ten times stronger six months from now, if use my willpower to go toward the goal.

Ugh, life, man. Can’t go forward too fast, and can’t go back at all. All I have is right now, this moment in front of me and what I decide to do with it.

Why is quantum leaping so simple and so overwhelmingly complex? Thoughts on that?

Pearl

By justpearlythings

I am a writer, a lover, and a believer in the good things in life. I write about mental health and wellness, along with book reviews and fashion opinions. My blog caters to thoughtful, growth-minded women and men, and offers insights and personal challenges that provide a space for relevant, meaningful connection. The World Wide Web is vast, it contains multitudes, and so do we as people. I believe that through self-awareness and honesty, we create a more loving planet for everyone. Feel free to follow this page and share it with friends and family. Love, Pearl

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