DC has just had her morning meal, and I’ve had my morning medicine. The coffee finished brewing.
I often wonder why am up so early. This is a common occurrence, and seems unrelated to whether or not I smoke marijuana. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel much better rested if I don’t smoke.
I’ve fallen off the wagon, but I am doing my best to be a responsible user of this drug.
I’ll let you know how that goes.
Anyway, last night I didn’t play games with my neighbor a. He wasn’t free until 9 PM and by that point I was tired for bed.
I’m thankful that yesterday I was able to have my therapy session, and make a run to the store, and then just chill in my apartment all day. I considered going to the cloisters and the MOMA, but it was snowing heavy and I just didn’t feel like leaving the house. I even felt guilty about not leaving, but I remind myself that I had just been traveling for over a week and spending a few days at home it’s totally OK.
Sometimes I feel obligated to do something big, or else my life isn’t worthy or something. Yesterday I had to remind myself back, not all days should be The same.
I’m also thankful that yesterday I was able to get my bag tracked to JFK airport, and a letter sent to them asking them to ship it to my house. Bag saga continues.
The third thing I’m thankful for for yesterday, is the fact that I was honest with someone and Marijuaba Anonymous about the fact that I have been smoking again. It was hard to be honest, because I didn’t wanna piss anyone off. But I really am doing my best to be more truthful lately. my friend and did seem disappointed, but at least I told the truth.
I finish reading brene brown’s braving the wilderness. It’s all about the courage to be authentic, and sometimes standalone. For some reason, it reminded me of the Comanches living in real hard conditions; real wilderness. That level of discomfort, seems to be normal among people who live for her dad lives. But then they don’t mind the discomfort. You get to be some sort of Indian warrior or Texas Ranger. I wonder how badly this metaphor lines up.
I really enjoy being awake around 4:30 AM, because I get to hear the really crazy partiers winding down or going home. Then, I hear the apartment building staff start bustling around with the cleaning and maintenance of the building.
Let it be known that the woman partying down the hall from me, shows no signs of slowing down. She’s singing really loudly along to some Toni Braxton style music. This may be death throes.
It will be nice to have my laptop back, so I can type instead of writing using a voice dictation.
I’m so thankful for my electric blanket, it’s wrapped around my bare legs because I’m just wearing a sweater set from free people.
I find myself thinking about the global future a lot lately. How would it be if the same company grew your food shipped your food and sold your food and delivered your food? it seems like a monopoly. We’re on the street is Bill Gates and certain other big names may be doing this type of plan. In addition to the monopoly, robots would be doing a lot of the actual work. I feel nervous when I think about even more people out of work.
It’s not that I think people need to work all the time, but people need an occupation. I think it’s silly to imagine that everyone becomes an artist, playwright, or painter when they don’t have a job to do. Rather, I feel people fall into despondency and despair, feelings of worthlessness abound whenone doesn’t have an occupation. So I wonder what will happen when robots take over a bunch of jobs.
I mean, what happened in the past? i’d have to research it. Let me know if you have any ideas.
Now that Marie Kondo is done in my apartment, there is a large amount of stuff in the hallway. I do not like carrying stuff to the trash room. I procrastinate this task. The hallway remains storage area, unfortunately. but my vision is that the hallway is an open, airy space that serves as a walkway from the doorway to my actual apartment. Right now, it’s more of an obstacle course.
I really feel the calm before the storm of 2021s ending. We are about to go into hyperdrive and blast off. Spring is around the corner, winter is surely almost over, and summer is a gleaming promise on the horizon. The plans that we made in our minds, the prayers we used to ask for help with these plans, it’s all turning into action now. For me, this means actively caring for my finances in a new way that involves more frequent attention, and bigger goals. For example, rather than staying out of debt, my goal is to grow my credit. Also, I’ve just learned a lot in the last year that is really speeding up my progress this year.
But progress must be balanced with rest. perhaps, this summer I am a grasshopper that rests and enjoys the fruit of my labor‘s. I see myself on a beach somewhere, counting my interest, which is compounding exponentially, while working on my writing project. Hi, like most people, want a full life. I have certainly prepared Space, and now I’m ready to furnish The rooms of my life.
My interest in the Comanches and in my condo is Dwayne in, and my therapist recommended I research polyamory this week. So I am off to find some literature or YouTube channels about polyamory.
I’ll talk to you later,