Stagnant Relationships: Why We Stay

I’m writing this post because it’s helping me to navigate a current situation in my life. The situation: a stagnant relationship. The answer: get out. But, here’s the question: why is it hard to leave something that I know is stagnant?

In my experience, the choice to walk away from a stagnant relationship is easier said than done.

In life, we each get the privilege of entering into certain relationships. This can be a job, romantic, platonic, or even a relationship between two organizations.

A self-aware person is able to notice whether the relationship is blooming, whether it needs an adjustment to continue, or whether it just isn’t working.

It takes a mentally strong person to recognize if a relationship is failing, no longer working, or just going nowhere.

But it takes a brave person to walk away.

Some people try to fix the relationship, because they don’t want to give up. Others ignore the issues and focus on what remains. Even others, try and negotiate or adjust the relationship to the point where it’s not even recognizable to anyone involved.

A healthy relationship does not require much effort. This is the hard truth.

Yes, all relationships take effort and work. But there’s a difference between fixing up a car that just needs a little attention, and wasting time on a once-beloved, but now useless, piece of equipment.

This post is not to encourage people to determine which relationships in their lives are stagnant.

I don’t need to do that, because people already know. You reading this – I’m sure (I’m positive) that lurking in you belly or the back of your mind, is the truth about that particular relationship (job, spiritual, family, friend) that you know is stagnant.

I’m writing this post because living in a stagnant relationship is poisonous to everyone involved. I’m writing this because it’s torture to feel unhappy in a relationship that was once cherished.

This post is not to encourage you to leave, either. Because again, I believe people reading this know better than I do when and how they will leave their stagnant situation. It’s not my business.

What is my business is to share with others the struggle that I faced in this type of situation.

Here are the top 5 things you should know if you’re thinking of leaving a relationship:

  1. Fear is normal.
  2. Guilt is not normal, it’s normalized.
  3. Panic attacks are your brain’s way of saying “Is this me now?”
  4. Count your blessings, but don’t cling to them.
  5. Start and end with your imagination.

That’s all for now, guys. What would you like to hear about next? Who would prefer these posts to be made as a video?

Let me know in the comments!


By justpearlythings

I am a writer, a lover, and a believer in the good things in life. I write about mental health and wellness, along with book reviews and fashion opinions. My blog caters to thoughtful, growth-minded women and men, and offers insights and personal challenges that provide a space for relevant, meaningful connection. The World Wide Web is vast, it contains multitudes, and so do we as people. I believe that through self-awareness and honesty, we create a more loving planet for everyone. Feel free to follow this page and share it with friends and family. Love, Pearl

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s