New York Winter and the (de)Light of Friendship

It isn’t the cold that is the worst part. It’s the grey. It’s three PM and I haven’t seen the sun all day. I saw it for a fleeting moment yesterday morning, but it’s not out today, and it may not be out tomorrow, either. The gloominess of this New York Winter reminds me I…… Continue reading New York Winter and the (de)Light of Friendship

Coping with Codependency: Addiction and Intertwined Illnesses

Remarkably, it was a twelve-step program for co-dependents that gave me the strength to face my issues with addiction. I began learning about codependency after a terrible breakup, and found that I fit the bill for a garden-variety, run-of-the-mill, codependent. Here’s what I learned about codependents: CODEPENDENTS OFTEN… Have difficulty identifying what they are feelingMinimize,…… Continue reading Coping with Codependency: Addiction and Intertwined Illnesses

Numb / Detox / Relapse / Recycle ?

“and I have become comfortably numb,” is what Pink Floyd song says in what I consider to be one of the most depressing songs of all time. When I look back at when I started using drugs, it was because I enjoyed feeling comfortably numb. It was better than the anxiety and depression and self-defeating…… Continue reading Numb / Detox / Relapse / Recycle ?

5 Things I Learned During My Relapse

Some of you may know that I quit smoking pot in Spring 2020. The first two weeks felt impossible, the first month was better, and by the second and third months I was feeling better and being more productive than I had for the past few years combined. Then, literally two days ago, after celebrating…… Continue reading 5 Things I Learned During My Relapse

Bedtime Routines and a Lesson in Karma

I’ve been reading the Bhagavad Gita in my endless journey into the unknown recesses of my mind, and I learned that the way we Westerners understand Karma is woefully ignorant. Yes, it can be summed up in the phrase, “What goes around comes around,” but there’s another dimension to the concept of Karma that I…… Continue reading Bedtime Routines and a Lesson in Karma

Why Perfectionism Kills Fun

It’s been a while since my last post. Like, almost a month? I can make excuses: I’ve been putting down roots in New York City; I’ve been adopting a cat; I’ve been working on my meditation and exercise routines. All of these are true, but the real reason I’ve been procrastinating is that I struggle…… Continue reading Why Perfectionism Kills Fun

Why Does Joy Trigger Anxiety?

As a recovering co-dependent, one of the first things I learned was the importance of naming my feelings. For about a month, I carried around a worksheet that I had printed out called the Wheel of Emotions. When I was unsure what I was feeling, I could pull out that crumpled piece of paper and…… Continue reading Why Does Joy Trigger Anxiety?

It’s Not Your Job to Make People Understand

Last night I spent some time with a dear friend, and our conversation led her to say, “It isn’t your job to make others understand.” Her words resonated with me and inspired me to write this post addressing what so many of us struggle with: the co-dependent tendency of people-pleasing. It’s in our nature…… Continue reading It’s Not Your Job to Make People Understand

Fully Human: Destruction

Today a storm raged in Austin, and the natural process of destruction inspired me. Examples of beneficial aspects of destruction include a forest fire that fertilizes new generations, or the storm that is, as I write this, filling our Greenbelt with fresh water. Nature teaches us that destruction and creation can and must co-exist. Nature…… Continue reading Fully Human: Destruction