Numb / Detox / Relapse / Recycle ?

“and I have become comfortably numb,” is what Pink Floyd song says in what I consider to be one of the most depressing songs of all time. When I look back at when I started using drugs, it was because I enjoyed feeling comfortably numb. It was better than the anxiety and depression and self-defeating…… Continue reading Numb / Detox / Relapse / Recycle ?

Sobriety During the Holidays: Impossible?

I’ll start this post by saying I broke my sobriety the other day and although it was a great time with friends, and though I felt fine the following day, I knew I was going down a slippery slope. The truth is, it’s either all or nothing for me, and right now I’m choosing nothing.…… Continue reading Sobriety During the Holidays: Impossible?

Why Getting Healthy Actually Sucks

Ugh. Just ugh. Here’s a piece that has been in my mind, pricking it my brain, for days now. It’s about why getting healthy, mentally and physically, actually sucks. It’s about why I actually hate personal growth. Eff this. It’s so hard, sometimes it feels too hard. And I feel both brave and hopeless and…… Continue reading Why Getting Healthy Actually Sucks

Four Things I Hate Most About Sobriety

I have to do things.I have to do things.I have to do things.I have to do things. Sobriety is just an endless stream, punctuated by sleep, of doing things. I mean, what the heck. Who signed up for this? I guess every human did, or any living thing, really. We’re just all out here, doing…… Continue reading Four Things I Hate Most About Sobriety

Clear Mind, Scary Thoughts

It’s been about a week since I started the sobriety journey and the “try to stop giving unsolicited advice and try to free myself of trying to control other people” journey. One thing that I’ve noticed, in doing both of these things at the same time, that my cleared mind is making way for a…… Continue reading Clear Mind, Scary Thoughts